The State of the Union
An honest read on your relationship. Past, present, or somewhere in motion. Twenty questions across five frames. A short, personalised report on where you actually are, and what to do about it.
Take the quizMost relationships drift not because anything is broken, but because no one ever sat down to actually look.
Most of us know how our work is going. Our finances. Our fitness. Our sleep. We track all of it. The one place we never get a clear read is the relationship that affects everything else.
So the relationship drifts, or stays mediocre, or gets quietly worse, and we tell ourselves we'll figure it out later. The State of the Union is the conversation, compressed. Twenty questions. A short report at the end. A starting line for whatever comes next.
You can't change what you won't look at. The relationships that thrive are the ones brave enough to keep looking.
The lens this quiz uses.
Every relationship rises or falls on these five. The quiz asks four questions about each, then shows you which frame is your ground and which one is asking for attention.
Intimacy
Closeness. Vulnerability. The depth at which you actually know each other.
Polarity
The charge. The energy that makes the relationship feel alive rather than companionable.
Generosity
The orientation. Whether you're giving toward each other, or quietly scoring against each other.
Presence
Whether you're actually there when you're together, or somewhere else.
Growth
Whether the relationship is becoming more, or quietly maintaining less.
A personalised read in seven minutes.
- A score across all five frames. Visualised. You'll see at a glance where you're strong and where there's slack.
- Your strongest frame and your weakest. What's holding the relationship up, and what's been quietly draining it.
- One small move you can make this week. Specific to your weakest frame. Not a generic platitude.
- A free guided next step. If you want to keep going, a recommended starting place that matches what came up.
Anyone who has ever loved another person seriously.
Long-term couples who want a real read on where things actually are, not the version you tell each other over coffee.
New couples who want to start with clarity rather than figure it out the hard way.
Couples who sense something is off but can't quite name it. The quiz often names it for you.
Single people processing a relationship that ended, looking for an honest read on what went wrong, and which part of it was yours.
Anyone curious about the lens through which they relate. The quiz applies whether you're partnered, between, or recently free.
I built this because I needed it.
Years ago I would have told you my relationship was great. It wasn't. It was just unexamined. The State of the Union is the tool I wish I'd had.
Twenty questions, sat with honestly, will tell you more about where you actually are than five conversations dancing around it. Take it on your own. Take it with your partner. Take it about a relationship that ended and see what you learn. It's free for a reason.
Get the read.
Twenty questions. Five frames. A short report on where you actually are and what to do about it. Free, no sign-up to take the quiz.
Start the quiz